Remember the 1997 movie, “As Good As It Gets”? Jack Nicholson plays famous writer, Melvin Udall, who suffers with debilitating OCD – and makes those around him suffer right along with him. In one scene, Melvin marches into his psychiatrist’s office demanding to see the doctor. Of course, his demand is denied by the front desk nurse. In his frustration, Melvin turns to the waiting room full of depressed patients and says:
“What if this is as good as it gets?”
What if this is as good as it gets, I wonder.
Now, the “good Christian girl” inside immediately replies, “Of course it isn’t! We are children of God! The best is yet to come!”
Lately, that “good Christian girl” has been on vacation. Instead of responding with positivity and joy, my response is tired and my heart a little bit broken.
I’ve been facing an inordinate amount of disappointment lately. Disappointment is a part of life, but this year it seems to be one thing after another. Plainly speaking, I’m struggling.
And I’m wondering, what if this IS as good as it gets. I mean, we are, after all, living in a fallen world. Our hopes and expectations are bound to be out of our reach, right?
Nothing is utterly tragic – rather little pokes of sadness and disillusionment. Tiny things. Career uncertainty. Struggling with singleness and loneliness. Mild depression.
The nagging thought that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
And there is truth in that – this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
How it’s supposed to be is not about me, rather all about Him.
Earlier this summer, during my regular prayer time, I felt God challenging me to lay down my prayers for myself and instead grow my intercession for others. Specifically, wait on God to lead me to pray for three people daily. This is not to say God wasn’t interested in my needs/desires. He knows my heart. He was instead, showing me how to become more selfless and concerned with the lives of others.
I’d like to say this experience has been a rousing success and I’ve been so changed by the practice.
But I can’t.
If I’ve learned anything in my spiritual life in the past few years’ it’s God’s demand on my obedience.
I came across this golden truth today:
And I do. Love Him. And right now the only hope I can access is found in this belief. That I can’t come close to imagining His plan.
So for right now, that’s going to have to be enough.
(Please feel free to comment or if you’re local you can always ply me with coffee and comment face to face. 😉 )