Have you ever been in love? I once imagined myself to be. Looking back, I wonder if I ever loved this person or was only infatuated by him. Regardless, at the time, it felt like love. Yet, this love came with conditions. Only if I was “cool” enough. “Pretty” enough. “Thin” enough. I could never meet his standards. I “loved” him so much I started questioning, “What do I need to do to be enough?”
One day while chatting with a good friend, I mentioned my feelings for this man and the way he implied I was less than. And wow – I wasn’t prepared for her reaction.
First, she was quiet.
Her face started to get red.
Then – the explosion.
“Are you out of your mind?! Enough? Enough? It’s not about being enough! It’s his job to make you feel you are MORE than enough!” There may have been an expletive or two in this conversation, but needless to say her thoughts on the issue were clear: love is not about being enough or meeting someone else’s standard of beauty. It’s about attraction to the whole person. Accepting the beauty with the flaws. The idea that I would change myself to meet the measure of a man was ridiculous to her.
And she was right. This “relationship” if you could call it that, fizzled out soon after.
“What do I need to do to be enough?”
I’d be lying if I said I don’t still ask myself that question now and then. It’s not just a question for the single woman or man. It’s a question for the married man who feels beat down by not ever meeting the expectations of his wife. Or the woman who is passed over for promotion again and again. The child picked last for a team. We all have moments of feeling not enough. We have gone so far from the garden. The beauty of our original perfection in God has warped and faded. Sin has taken the best and made it less. Much less.
He isn’t asking us to be enough. He knows we are incapable. The history of the nation of Israel is clear evidence – we are unable to get ourselves back to Eden. God was always well aware of this. He gave us His Son. He redeemed us from the life of less than and brought us into the more than – adopted us as children. Not to be slaves or servants, but actual heirs. We only bridge being enough by the blood of Jesus Christ.
The truth is: we aren’t enough. Not on our own, anyway. When we invite Christ inside we are receiving more than His acceptance of us. We are acknowledging we all come broken. We learn that mankind may reject us or find us lacking, but by grace, amazing grace we have become enough.