Holding Patterns

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” John Lennon

Isn’t that the truth.

A startling realization hit me today: I’m no longer young. I know, not so intuitive of me… but take into account that I’ve always been the youngest in my family and that I’m not married and haven’t seen a houseful of kids grow up… it was quite a shock!

I mean, I KNOW I’m 53, but WOW! I’m 53!

No whining allowed, but being single until this age places you in a funny sort of holding pattern in life. Like a airliner circling the runway to land, but never receiving clearance to do so from the control tower.

To be fair I’ve not regretted being single. In fact, in my circle I’m the only one who isn’t divorced! Still there is something missing. Like the rocket of life has had a failure to launch.

I could write a book about how growing up in the church prepared me for NOTHING in life. When you don’t fall into the “proper”categories and expectations (damn, I hate that word!) aren’t met? You’re kinda flying blind.

But church upbringing is a tangent for another day.

So I’m old. “Young” old, but still past the middle of life. And the shock of that made me realize I don’t have a lot of time to do the things I’ve always wanted to do.

Not big things, like climbing Kilimanjaro or getting a PhD. Rather good, simple things daily. A few fun adventures. Maybe some more writing and learning to oil paint.

All of which I have put off. Because I’m lazy, busy or too stubborn to start.

But I realize I can’t put things off anymore. I’m going to start small RIGHT NOW.

I’m going to finish knitting that sweater that has given me so many issues in getting the sleeves right.

I’m going to start researching a trip to the UK and visit some Celtic “thin places.”

I’m going to work on that mystery novel. Go for a daily nature walk. Increase my meditation practice and start doing yoga.

I’m going to land the air plane of my life before it’s too late. And if things don’t work out? That’s okay! At least I was living.

Whew. This turned into much more manifesto than blog post.

Still, don’t we all need a swift kick from time to time to remind us that tomorrow can’t wait forever?


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